How You Can Help

Effective communication is crucial to a survivor’s well-being. Here are some suggestions for providing support:

• Remain calm: While you may experience strong emotions, expressing them to the survivor can cause further distress.
• Believe the survivor: Make it clear that you believe what happened and that it is not their fault.
• Give the survivor control: Sexual assault takes away a person’s control. Empower the survivor to make decisions about what steps to take next and avoid telling them what to do.
• Be present and listen: Allow the survivor to express a range of emotions. Remember that any anger they express is directed at the perpetrator and the situation, not at you.
• Assure your support: Let the survivor know that your relationship with them will remain strong, regardless of what happened.
• Avoid making threats: Threats against the suspect may cause the survivor to worry about your safety.
• Maintain confidentiality: Allow the survivor to decide who to tell about the assault.
• Encourage counseling: Provide the hotline number for the nearest rape crisis center, but let the survivor decide whether to call.
• Ask before offering physical support: Asking for consent before physical contact helps restore the survivor’s sense of security, safety, and control.
• Say what you can guarantee: Avoid making promises you cannot keep, such as assuring the survivor they will never be hurt again or that the offender will be jailed.
• Allow authorities to handle the assault: Confronting the perpetrator or attempting to investigate the assault yourself can be harmful or dangerous and may interfere with a legal investigation.
• Be patient: Healing can be a long process with both progress and setbacks.
• Take care of yourself: If you need support, contact your local rape crisis center for a confidential space to discuss your feelings.